Thanks so much for your thoughtful response! You make a good point- as I struggle with decisions, I forget to notice how lucky I am, to have these two loves accepting me as best they can for who I am.
I’m curious about your thoughts on poly people being elitists. I think I understand what you might mean- there’s an entire vocabulary that poly people use and it can be intimidating from an outside perspective. But I’ve also found most people very open and happy to chat with newcomers and those who have some interest in polyamory but hesitant to dive in. I hope you find your way if this is a lifestyle you might be interested in.