Thanks for sharing this story! The thing I agree with you most is how important it is to examine the kind of relationship structure we choose, rather than just defaulting to what we’ve been fed. Monogamy, like consensual non-monogamy ought to be a choice.
From the point of view of someone who has chosen Polyamory and very happy with it, and also very cautious and mindful to create strong, secure relationships that don’t threaten existing ones, I’m curious your take on sexual differences between partners in monogamy. My long term partner and I have very different sexual needs (he’s a once a month person I’m a once a day!) It seems wrong to me to deny that part of myself because he simply isn’t as sexual. Our relationship is strong and for the two of us, it’s important to allow each other to express ourselves and our love fully, even if that means leaning into sexual dynamics with other people. I’m curious about other ways people might manage different sexualities, especially from a psychologist’s POV.