Perhaps rather than shaming Mysterious Witt for her vulnerability and courage in sharing this story, and blaming her for “hooking up with the wrong guys,” read the story.

There are a lot of men who are like Dave. This is a problem. Sharing stories like this shines light on such problems and makes room for change. There’s a place for the happy, he-made-me come-for-hours stories, but this isn’t one of them.

For me, reading this story, I feel encouraged to stop being embarrassed if a guy doesn’t get off, to get myself off. If he leaves the room or shames me for it, well I’m glad to have gotten the opportunity to see his true colors.

My long term bf loves when I masturbate during, before or after intercourse. Sometimes no intercourse is involved, he just likes that I invite him to experience my pleasure. But then he doesn’t have an unhealthy level of pride and ego.

Polyamorous and sex-positive essayist, poet, and over-thinker.

Polyamorous and sex-positive essayist, poet, and over-thinker.