My father didn’t want me, but he never admitted it. I just knew from my mom that she stopped using her diaphragm because she wanted another kid, figured it would take a long time to get pregnant, and that by then she could get my dad on board. Instead of telling me his feelings about all that, my dad told me that having kids is a bad idea, and that I shouldn’t do it. I’d so much rather he just say the words: “I didn’t want kids and I regret it” rather than advising me on how to live my life. I’m grateful for my mom’s honesty and have a lot of issues with my father’s lack there of. I agree with everything you wrote in this article, thanks for articulating it!