I appreciate how honest and real this piece is! I have been poly for six years now and still struggle with similar things. I’m of the completely honest variety, but this means that there are times I’m sharing personal details about one relationship with a different partner. I realize not everyone is cool with that, but if it weren’t a partner, I’d share this stuff with a friend. For me, I need these types of conversations. If I keep things I’m struggling with to myself, it doesn’t feel healthy. Over time, I have come to find a balance, though it’s a dance and that balance is always shifting and needing to be re-found.
Monogamish seems like a good way to agree on your priorities. One person is Partner and anyone else is not — so you share with your partner and not so much with anyone else.
As for NRE, I sometimes hate it too! That’s why I’m not dating right now… I can’t handle the pull.