That sounds so frustrating and painful. It’s interesting that some people can put a stop to feelings just like that. It feels sad to me, but I suppose, as your ex said, it makes people feel safer. Of course if your forcing someone else to cut off feelings too instead it’s not safer at all, just controlling.
Reading about your experience makes me see mine in a different light too- for someone who has been married for a long time and sexually but not emotionally non-monogamous, a new emotional relationship would probably feel very overwhelming! It helps at least to realize it isn’t about me. ❤️
Thank you for reading and taking the time to respond!