Especially useful for anxious types! — A few days ago, my partner Drake came home and told me he was going to go out with one of his coworkers. This was someone he’s talked about a lot, who seemed really cool, but in the past when I’d asked if he had feelings, he denied it. “No…

The most profound lessons can come from the worst devastation — If you’ve been following me, you know that after practicing ethical non-monogamy for about seven years, I recently hit a place where polyamory quite simply just sucked. Polyamory Sucks Right Now Maybe it’s the full moonmedium.com My partner, Drake, started dating someone else during a time I was already wishing for more time with him, leading me to feel…

Talking about this plant in an Al Anon meeting helped me see the metaphor — I’ve been attending Al Anon meetings ever since my relationship began its long, painful process of either falling apart or growing — or possibly, a little bit of both. In case you’re unfamiliar with Al Anon, it’s a 12-step group for family and friends of alcoholics. I’ve recently come to…

Is my love fading away or is there hope yet? — Another morning where the moon is out the front window, against the early-morning, blue sky. It’s slightly less full than the day before. Drake is still sleeping. I crawled into bed with him around 6:30, after being awake about an hour. He wrapped his arm around me but kept his…

Within my temporary cage of rope, I discover what I must do — The Situation A few weeks ago, my long-term nesting partner told me he wanted to spend New Year’s Eve with his new partner. I was hurt, and I told him this. He invited me to join at first, but between that time and the day of, a lot changed, and we have…

When the “regular kind” didn’t work growing up, I try to build something different — I want a family. No, not a family, I want Family. I already had a family. My father was an emotionally-abusive, rarely-home, work and alc-oholic. My mother was often unhappy and angry. I love my mom, and she’s one of my best friends now, but she and my dad did…

Is polyamory a way to break free of codependency? Maybe, but it’s not always easy — “Maybe they want to do the theater with us!” I hear my mom above me from the kitchen exclaiming this excitedly to her husband. I’m home for a few days, mostly hibernating in the basement, working on multiple, long research papers that are all due at the exact same time. …

This is what grief and growth feels like — Drake wants me to meet Leigh, and because his proposal caused me to feel a wave of hope, the plan is to meet today. At our place. Then I’ll go out to see one of my best friends who is in town for the weekend, and Drake and Leigh will…

Maybe it’s the full moon — Thank you to all who read my stuff, but mostly thanks to those who write. Not just the pretty stuff, the “how to’s” and the beginning, middle, and ends, but the messy this is right now’s, but here’s one thing that helps… or maybe not even that. I just love…